2012 Jazzy Awards – Sports Turkey of the Year, Lance Armstrong

Since silly season is upon us, it’s time to turn our attention to the yearly Jay’s Golf Awards, known around here as the Jazzys. We’ll recall all the best and worst of the year while mixing in some new course reviews, Cybergolf pieces, and kicking off the new series at Back 9 Network before the January run begins. We’ll highlighting Best New Courses, what great architects are doing, some great writing, and some terrible gaffes as well.

Of course, we kick off the awards the day after Thanksgiving with the Dry Stringy Turkey Award to the Turkey of the Year, in conjunction with our wingman Tony Korologos of the Golf Space, who’ll do his annual Top 10 roundup).

And man, there were plenty of candidates! In golf alone we had the U.S. Ryder Cup team with that gas pipe job they did at Medicinal, Jim Furyk’s three-ring circus clown act where he blew the U.S. Open, FedEx Cup and Ryder Cup in a 100 day span, Adam Scott out Van de Velding Van de Velde in fumbling the Claret Jug at the goal line for Foster’s poster boy Ernie Els to scoop up, Els for being a less than gracious winner, and tall the rest of the PGA Tour third round and late fourth round leaders who threw up on the last lap making this – unquestionably – the Year of the Choke in golf.

But once again, it’s the steroid cheats that put to shame anything done this year on the field or course. And it was a year of victory for some steroid cheats. Barry Bonds and now Roger Clemens have walked after facing slam dunk allegations of cheating and lying about it. Can there be any doubt that Lance Armstrong will escape as well?

Lance Armstrong, impenitent steroids/PED cheat.

Lance Armstrong, who ruined athletes’ lives with the ruthlessness of a mafioso consigliere.

Lance Armstrong, who betrayed everyone around him.

Lance Armstrong, living a lie…and loving it.

Face with the ineluctablity of his ruin – caught lying, cheating, and stealing – he laughs at it. Dishonorable, despicable, disgusting.

The USADA has laid out an airtight case against Armstrong detailing surreptitious drug drops, mystery substances, strong-arming teammates, and a fog of lies upon lies on his way to seven ill-gotten Tour de France wins.

Now he tweets pics of himself lounging under those jerseys – defecating upon sportsmanship and civic responsibility itself. The man has no shame, no honor, no courage, no loyalty, and no humility. Let him sit at home in his cave an gnaw at the end of his old plots. But we all see him for what he really is – nothing but leftover turkey.


2011 – Steve Williams
2010 – Tiger Woods
2009 – Tiger Woods
2008 – ESPN/NFL
2007 – Tom Farrey, ESPN
2006 – Turning Stone Casino

Posted: November 23rd, 2012 under Chumps, Lunkheads, Dingbats, Jazzy Awards.
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